Family - Children

Familes are the center of our lives for most of us. And while families typically provide the love and support required for inspiration and fulfillment. The family can also be the cause of tremendous dysfunction and turmoil. In the U.S. and throughout the world, we witness this everyday.  A successful person crediting their family for their success. Meanwhile, a lost soul of a child or adult going to prison battling drugs, violence, etc. Why the discrepancy? It's more than socioeconomic? Famous movie stars, celebrities, and every day folk experiencing challenges. We see both contented and dysfunctional families across the economic spectrum. Rich and poor families alike have parents, children and family members with problems and challenges, and also successes and triumphs.  The important distinction between the families is environment but not of the material kind. 


Any family that has a person that is committed to the well being of the children, that is providing a loving, nurturing environment, will find that child/children blossoming and on the road to fulfillment and achievement.  We often see children coming to the fore and assuming the parenting role and providing the loving, nurturing environment in the event the parents are not willing/capable.  The important things we give our children are not nice homes, fine educations, proper manners/breeding, cars, cell phones, xboxes, macbooks, and the like but simply a knowing that they are loved.  The greatest feeling in the world not only for a child and for any of us is to know that we are loved.  Let your child find their path, support them, love them. If we are to be content, we must all discover our purpose, our passion.  When we force them into our idea of success, our "plan" for them, then we begin to interfere and again conflict arises.  

 

Let them make mistakes like we did, and hopefully they will learn, again like we did.  Let them discover the joy of living their dream.  If they know they are loved, they have no other choice but to return the love that is given.  A child that loves is a child that is content, filled with purpose, which leads to an improved society and better world.  

 A challenge in two parent households is when one spouse is loving and supportive and the other is the practical disciplinarian. It is important for both parents to be on the same loving wavelength, and avoid the good cop bad cop.  If the discipline involves yelling and screaming at the child, conflict, you know you're off base. I know this is not easy but regardless of what the child does the parents answer is always unconditional love.  The only road to healing and forgiveness is love.  I love you know matter what.  For all you single parents out there. A special shout out to the single moms. You often feel the need to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the children and while that's admirable, it's also off base. You must care and nurture yourself. You will need strength and fortitude for the journey, and when you see your lovebirds blossom there is no greater gift to receive. 

Let them be children. To be free, have fun, laugh, and be without too much responsibility. They have their entire adult life to be "responsible".  In today's fast paced world, the children are growing up way too fast, with schedules that would make our grandparents, even us, cringe and all at such a young age. Remember easy does it, all in good time, balance. Let them be children. Love them support them, speak well of them, and above all NURTURE them.  Be mindful of what we speak, our words are very powerful. Stay positive with the child, always encouraging, speak highly of them to friends, family, everyone.  Even when they stumble! There is always good to find. Let them know you are always there, no matter what! 


We are all connected, like the forest, as it begins with the sapling, it to begins with child. As we know, we are not only responsible to ourselves and our families but to each other.  We have some wonderful teachers when it comes to loving children such as, Mother Theresa.  And we also have the billions of everyday parents, past and present, that have simply loved and cared for their child. We will elevate as a world society when all the children are loved. We all have an obligation, as the saying goes, to reach out and help that child. Namaste.


Much Love,


Tom Kaufmann
Coach K