Saturday, November 29, 2014

Jesus

Jesus

There is a great quote from Jesus in the Course of Miracles,  "If you want to be like me, I will help you, and if you don't I will wait for you to change your mind.  And you will change your mind"

With Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
CoachKaufmann.com

The Concept of Non Interference

Non Interference

As a parent, how do you know when it's time to parent and time to let go.  Time to not interfere.  Very, very, hard. I'm not sure of the answer, but in having three teenagers you have to trust that you've raised them correctly, given them good fundamental principles.  We have always tried to teach them to be loving and kind, even though we are not always loving and kind ourselves, especially to each other.  We all know that living under the same roof can be a challenge at times!

Well just like us they have to learn some lessons on their own, you want to protect them from themselves, from their missteps, from their mistakes but some times we go too far in sheltering them from life.  We know that life and experience is the greatest teacher, and that often times it takes us several "experiences" before we get the lesson.  Sometimes we may never get it right. But try we must. 

Our college son is home on Thanksgiving break, and he shared a story where I winced when he began.  He said at school there was a fellow student he didn't know in the game room and asked if he would play Battleship with him.  Our son like most kids is a video gamer, not a board gamer.  He's seen the game on tv, not sure he's ever even played it before.  After the game,  while my son was waiting for a friend, the student asked if he would walk back to the dorm and play video games.  He met a new friend and was kind and gentle to a fellow student that was "different" from him.   Maybe he heard some of lessons over the years. 

All I coud do was smile. 

Practicing non interference in the lives of others can be a challenge in these days of interconnectedness, where instant communication is the norm.  And knowing when to help and when to mind your own business can be a delicate balancing act, but listen to your heart and you'll know that you're on the right path. 

With Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
CoachKaufmann.com

Shopping/Retail - Take The People's Money

Shopping

Shopping like baseball is a great American pastime.   We are hall-of-fame consumers.  We are told by marketers and advertisers that we are not complete without their product or service.  We can't be cool or acceptable unless we wear a certain brand.  

Of course, it is utter nonsense.  But the conditioning is strong and has gone on for almost 100 years. We are continually bombarded about the need to have this gadget through the radio, tv, and papers. Everywhere we turn there is an ad for a product or service, on your phone, computer, clothing, and of course the Internet.  

The continual message is shop, shop, shop, buy, buy, buy, consume, consume, consume.  

The opposite of consume is to what? Save.

Many are forced to be savers due to limited means.  When you learn the good habits of saving and eventually investing.  You can begin having your money and assets work for you instead of you working to consume and spend. 

When I do shop and go to the stores, I'm amazed at the long lines.  The retailers haven't figured out the most important concept in selling. Take the people's money! Make it easy and convenient for people to spend. Why have folks wait in long lines to give you their money.  Have enough staff on hand to work the registers and take the people's money.  So simple and easy.  You don't want to have your customers become frustrated when trying to purchase your goods, and most importantly the last impression of the customer should not be negative. 

So all you retailers out there hire a few more folks, bring in the extra staff and 

Take the people's money!

With Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
CoachKaufmann.com

Thursday, November 27, 2014

What Happened to College

College

Attending college was usually considered a good idea, good for the student, good for the community, good the country, good for society as a whole.  An educated person is exposed to different ideas, different cultures, different viewpoints.   The college experience helps expands a person's capacity to learn, experience new things, and solve the challenges of the modern day. The college experience creates an improved person that can help make a better life for themselves and their family helping contributing to a better society.

This noble idea of educating the citizens for the betterment our society seems to have been corrupted along the way.  Excellent programs such as the GI bill enabling veterans to go on to college, community colleges enabling inexpensive access to higher learning, or state schools providing lower cost access to residents are excellent programs that many used to improve their opportunities in life. 

The U.S. college educational system was and is the best in the world, but what has happened recently is a corrupting of the system.  The excellent idea of providing low cost student loans to enable student to attend universities has been highjacked by the very same universities to escalate tuitions to outrageous levels.  Now the local private universities with a student population of ~2000 students is routinely charging $50,000/yr for tuition, similar to Ivy league schools. 

While colleges have been raising their tuitions at a dramatic rate well above the 3% levels of inflation, their enrollments have skyrocketed.  Colleges are seeing record freshman classes despite these ridiculous tuition rates.  Why?

What happened?  Has worldwide demand from students around the world created a more limited supply at our colleges.  Are there more applicants for the limited spots are our U.S. universities. Perhaps.  But  due to this demand, the colleges have learned that they can raise tuitions for their limited slots and demand does not drop so the price keeps increasing to foolish levels. The problem appears to be access to money or funding.  Easy financing creates excess.  Similar to housing, credit cards, auto loans, and now a college education. 

A good idea has been corrupted where the schools, banks, lending institutions, and government have created a collusive environment where the schools inflate tuitions, the government and banks provide funding, and the students and families foot the bill.  Yes, students and families knowingly enter into these arrangements,  our culture has promulgated the benefits of education and rightly so.  We can agree that educating our children is good for all of us. 

Back in the mid 1980's, you were able to go to an outstanding university for under $5000/yr, you could work to pay some of the tuition, and borrow to pay the difference.  You could do this on your own and get by.  Today, that same university is 25,000 and it is doable to work and borrow to pay the costs, but it is much more challenging, and at most institutions untenable. 

One of our national goals should be to provide affordable access to a college education for all our citizens. We have seen the political influence of the educational funding conglomerate in having Bankruptcy laws mutated to forbid educational loans from being discharged in bankruptcy.  So, a multi-billion dollar corporation can wipe it's debts clean, but a person struggling cannot get rid of their student loan debt.  Fascinating, interesting, sad.  This illustrates how the system has been hijacked, corrupted, and focused on generating excessive profits than in providing reasonable funding to higher education. 

We can and must change the system.  With the advance of technology, high speed internet and video, we have new way low cost to deliver courses and knowledge.  We can provide universal access to higher learning in a much more economical format while keeping the principles intact. We must make changes.  We are taking our college educational system which is a national treasure and undermining its very reason for existence. 

With Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
CoachKaufmann.com



Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Jalking

Jogging and Walking

Over the years I've gone from pure running to now a combined running, jogging, and walking or to coin a phrase JALKING.  

Jalking is an easier way to elevate your heartbeat, get a good sweat, and complete a workout in less time.  Many of us don't have an hour or more to enjoy a nice walk, but when you combine a walk, with a jog, and a 100 yard sprint you're able to accomplish more, still enjoy the scenery, and improve your fitness and health relatively faster.  

Jalking helps achieve cardio fitness, strengthen your bones, and is terrific for building muscle.  Many folks don't realize that running is a great overall muscle building exercise.  Walking alone while helping with tone, does not equal the overall muscle building of running or sprinting. Walkers will benefit by incorporating light jogging into their routine, and slowly building to sprinting.  Start with a 10 yard sprint depending our your fitness level and go from there. 

Monitor your body and how you feel, let it guide you on how to progress.  A great relief for soreness or stiffness is to take a hot soak in the tub.  The soak helps the muscles relax, break up lactic acid, and helps you recover faster.  And it feels great too! 

Another terrific benefit of Jalking is the great outdoors.  While treadmills are OK, nothing compares to the invigorating, revitalizing, fresh air.  Get outside soak in the sunshine,  enjoy the sky, and breath in the cool crisp air.  The health benefits are tremendous. 

With Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
CoachKaufmann.com

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Power of a Love Letter

Love Letters

Ah yes, good 'ol love letters.  The act of writing a letter, let alone a love letter is a long lost art.  We forget how powerful the written word is, and transformative when combined with an uplifting loving message. 

In this era of instant and constant communications,  of twits, texts, posts, and emails we often don't find the need or take the time to simply write to the people in our lives how important, special, and wonderful it is that they are here to share in this wonderful dance of life.  We need to take the time to write a heartfelt letter explaining our love, joy, and happiness to those that mean the most of us.  Let them know how important and special they are, how much you simply love them. 

When I mention this simple yet powerful act of connecting and expressing ourselves many people tell me, especially men, that their spouse or children know that they love them.  I'm sure that's true, but there's a reason that love letters are saved and treasured.  We as humans need and crave love and affection. We need acknowledgement. 

We need to know that we are loved. 

Take the time to write that love letter.  Tell that special someone how much they mean to you.  Let it become a habit to shout from the rooftops, you are important, you are unique, I'm glad you're in my life,

I love you. 

With Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
CoachKaufmann.com

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Free Cheese Welfare to Wealth

Hey Friends,

Been working on this wonderful story idea for a while and the upcoming book is a celebration of achieving success despite the odds, of using the power of  Love to overcome any obstacle. Here's a snipet of the story

Free Cheese Welfare to Wealth - A beautiful love story with some interesting detours along the Way

Chapter One - A Fairmount Love Affair

My mother Helen Anne Keel Kaufmann raised her four boys on a welfare check and food stamps. She worked when she could but needed to be home for her four young boys. Helen was married young at the age of 19 like most back in the 1940's to her local neighborhood sweetheart Thomas Kaufmann. They both met in Fairmount, near the Art Museum in Philadelphia and fell in love. Mom went to Hallahan and Pop went to Bishop Neumann having been forced to bus to South Philadelphia because of the crowding at Roman Catholic in Center City.  Having to leave the neighborhood and the beloved Roman was tough on the 14 year old, he had to catch a few buses to get to South Philly and certainly took some ribbing on his hour long trips back and forth to school. Mom was a Hallahan girl, a local all girls high school that still exists today in Fairmount.

The local Fairmount kids fell in love and got married after high school. Dad was headed to the Army and Mom would stay home and raise the kids. The plan was to settle in Fairmount, buy a nice row home, surrounded by family and friends, raise a family, and live happily ever after.

Mom is a beautiful black haired blue eyed beauty. Her gaze would freeze you, she knew she was special, and wasn't afraid to let others know it too. She was the fourth child in a family of 5. Her sister Kitty the oldest, brother Frank, brother Joe, Mom, and youngest sister Judy. Kitty was separated by many years from the younger children. Mom was the apple of her father's eye, the joy of her mother, and the love of her older brothers, they called her "Sis" as a term of endearment. Mom was the straw that stirred the drink in the family, the center of attention, used to getting her own way. To look at old pictures she had a grace, a beauty, a regal air about her. I'm certain she is descendant from royalty.

Mom is a Hallahan girl, the local all girls school that still is going strong today in Fairmount.  She lived right across the street from the school. Mom was a member of the St. Peter's Basillica parish located on Logan circle and growing up attended school and church at St. Peter's. St. Peter's cathedral is where the Cardinal has his office and is the most beautiful church in Philadelphia. St. Peter's elementary school has since closed. Dad's local parish and elementary school is St. Francis, still going strong today.

Dad was a from a family of four, three boys and a girl.  Raised by a German father Francis Kaufmann and an Irish mother, Kitty Gallagher. There was sister, Francis, the oldest, then Dad, younger brothers Joe and Johnny.  Dad was a stud athlete. He fit in perfectly with the Keel boys since Frank was a football star at Roman and Joe a basketball player on Roman's dominant teams. He played baseball and basketball with the Keel's and the neighborhood guys at the local gym on Boathouse Row along Kelly drive and the Schyukyll River. Kelly Drive is a lovely, meandering road that connects center city with Philly's outlying towns of Roxborough, Manyunk, Andorra, Chesnut Hill and the close suburban townships and boroughs of Conshohocken, Whitemarsh, Plymouth , and Blue Bell Whitpain.

Dad's two sports loves of basketball and baseball had him dreaming of starring in championships for the local high school powerhouse Roman Catholic. The overcrowding at Roman took those dreams to Neumann Roman's South Philly rival. How ironic that a local Roman guy would have to take his talents and play for the other team. Well, his athletic prowess I'm sure eased the transition of welcoming a Roman outsider into the Neumann fold. He played on Neumann's first 1958 boys Catholic League boys basketball championship team, the Catholic league has been playing competitive basketball since 1921. Neumann is second all time with 17 championships to Roman's 28. Dad also starred for Neumann's baseball teams as a slugging first baseman.

Two young, beautiful lovers, happy ready to launch on their wonderful journey together.

Chapter Two - Getting Busy

After high school Dad was to join the Army during the early 60's. Vietnam was bubbling,  the Bay of Pigs was in the headlines, and the threat of war was in the air. Sometime soon after joining the army, Dad was given an honorable discharge.  The discharge was related to a medical condition and may have involved mental health issues.

After getting discharged, Mom and Dad decided to get married, and were married at St. Francis church in Fairmount, a stone's throw from the Philadelphia Art Museum, the Parkway, and scenic Kelly drive.

The newlyweds settled in Fairmount surrounded by friends and family.  Life was good. Dad owned his own delivery route with a local company H&M, think UPS. Mom was a secretary with a local company. They young couple looked quite elegant and glamourous bouncing around town, John Kennedy was elected president and hope was in the air

 The world was their oyster. All their attention and affections were showered on each other. Dad was 21 and Mom was 20 foot loose and fancy free. And then.

The children! Four of us born in a span of 6 years. Tom, Frank, Brian, and Chris. Mom and Dad had four boys before the age of 28, and Dad's head must have been spinning four boys to feed. I was born Thomas Joseph Jr., Tommy in July 1964, the year John Kennedy was elected and the Beatles toured Philly and the USA.  Francis John, Frank was born in November, 1965, then Brian Patrick, Bri was born in December 1967, and finally Christopher Peter, Chris was born on August 2, 1970.

Yes, the four bounding Kaufmann boys arrived on the scene and we were ready for action. Four boys ages 6, 5, 3, and newborn Chris. That's a lot of testosterone in one place.

Mom and Dad started their lives together living in their first home, a house located in the Logan section of Philly. Logan was a nice solid middle class neighborhood. Dad was having trouble holding a job and they wound up having to sell the house and rent a house in Chesnut Hill. Chesnut Hill is a lovely small town colonial city on the outskirts of the city that borders the terrific Philly suburb of Whitemarsh.

Chesnut Hill is a wonderful mixture of the artistic, affluent, educated, and eclectic.  The town has a bounding energy where people walk along the cobblestone streets to visit the local shops, galleries, and restaurants.   The homes are a mix of rows, townhouses, single homes, and lovely mansions that peacefully exude the lovely bohemian Chesnut Hill vibe.  Today, our family lives about 3 miles from Chesnut Hill and all three of our children were born at the great Chesnut Hill hospital.

From Chesnut Hill the family moved to Roxborough, another nice working class town located 10 miles outside the center of Philadelphia, or Center City. Roxborough like Chesnut Hill is a town that while technically located in Philadelphia has more of a suburban feel.  And while being 10 miles from Center City, the town were only a mile or two from the bucolic Lafayette Hill and Plymouth Meeting located in Whitemarsh township.  We lived in a nice two bedroom apartment on Osborne street, close to Daisy Field the local park that had a baseball diamond, and the Wissahickon creek and trail located in Fairmount Park.

Plenty of kids were in the neighborhood and we had fun flipping baseball cards, playing ball, and just having a great time.  The youngest Chris was just born and I remember his crib being in the living room and the brothers and I sharing bunk beds in the apartment.  The only downside to the apartment was that at night when you turned on the lights for the bathroom, the roaches scurried. Yuck!

With the arrival of Chris, there was now six of us living in a two bedroom apartment. I remember attending kindergarten at Cook elementary, and one morning in particular while Mom was dealing with the newborn, Frank, and Brian. I was sent off on one of my first big adventures walking to school on my own which was about 3 blocks away.  I knew the way but since I never walked it alone before it was quite an accomplishment for me.  After my brothers were settled, Mom peeked in the classroom window to make sure I arrived safely.  My first taste of independence!

From kindergarten at Cook elementary, I headed to St. John the Baptist to attend first grade in the neighboring town of Manayunk.  Philly is filled with all these wonderful Indian names. Manayunk is home of of the great bike race that features the "Wall", a steep climb that the cyclist has to make during each loop of the 300 mile race.  The town is filled with steep hills and borders the Schukyll river.  St. John's sat at the bottom of a steep hill and was surrounded by the parish cemetery that sat on a hill. I remember looking up from recess and school and always seeing that foreboding place.

Conshohocken

When I finished the first grade at St. John's in June 1970 we made our move to the steel mill town of Conshohocken. A working class town dominated by the steel plant, Alan Wood Steel, and other factories such as Lee Tires, and Hale Pumps. The town was filled with schools, churches, parks, ball fields, bars,  funeral homes, and the Fellowship House. Conshohocken's indian name translates to Pleasant Valley, and despite the rough and tumble reputation, it was a perfect place to raise a family.

Mom was determined to keep Dad away from the temptations of Fairmount and while we bounced around from Logan, to Roxborough, to Conshohocken, in an effort to distance ourselves and protect Dad.  The lure of family and friends a short drive of 10 miles away was always there.

In the summer of 1970 we settled in a nice small 3br/1bth twin with a small yard located at 220 E 5th Avenue. The house cost $10,000 which of course was a fortune at the time and was built in 1950's.  Dad owned his own trucking route with H&M delivery, a local package delivery service. A precursor to the modern day UPS and Fedex. Times were good. We actually got a mortgage, maybe a VA loan, and we were proud homeowners.  The house was conveniently located a half block from the local Marywood park, which included a playground, grassy picnic areas, 6 outdoor basketball hoops, and the town's local community center called the Fellowship House.

Things were looking up for the growing Kaufmann family.  Mom and Dad were still so young in their late 20's. I was 6, Frank 5, Brian 4, Chris an infant and optimism was in the air.  The house was about 1000 sq ft with 3 bedrooms and one bath, it was huge compared to the apartment.  Chris was in his crib in Mom and Dad's room, Brian and Frank shared the middle bedroom, and I had the small back bedroom next to the bathroom. The bathroom had a nice cast iron tub but the shower was yet to come. Baths were the modus operandi.

Conshohocken or Conshy to the locals is a borough of about 10,000 people located within one square mile. The town borders Norristown, Barren Hill, Plymouth Meeting, Lafayette Hill, and Plymouth township and runs along the Schukyll river which was so vital to the steel plant in the early days. The town is made up of mostly well kept twins, singles, and row homes, and prides itself on a sense of community. The town's main strip is Fayette street dividing the town in half between the East and West sides. The blocks simply count up beginning at 1st avenue up to 15th ave. With the higher avenues typically having slightly larger homes, yards, and property values. Going back to the founding of the town, the founders and mill owners lived up on the hill or higher avenues while the workers lived closer to the mill and river.

The town has four catholic parishes and schools to choose from at the time. The schools and parishes were identified by geography and ethnicity.  Irish St. Matthew's on East 3rd ave. Italian St. Cosmas and Damien located on W. 6th ave.  Polish St. Mary's on West 1st ave. And across the river and bridge there was St. Gertrudes that belonged to our friends in West Conshohocken. The larger elementary schools and parishes were St. Matt's and St. Cosmas with over 200 students, St. Mary's only had 100 students from K-8, and St. Gert's was even smaller.

St. Matt's

The decision was made that I repeat first grade at St. Matt's for if I remember correctly I did complete the first grade during my time at St. John's  I remember my first day at St. Matt's with Sr. Louis all the other kids knew how to write in cursive and I at the time had not learned that and was printing my words. From that early time, I was identified as being behind the other students, but I made friends quickly and easily assimilated into being a Saint at St. Matt's.

Frank, Brian, and Chris would follow me at St. Matt's.  We were all athletes and gravitated to basketball where we excelled. The Sisters of St. Joseph were our teachers and we had our fair share of run in's with the  good sisters. My brother Brian especially, Brian was a free spirit and he was tagged early as a rabble rouser.  I often think that children will live up to the labels we associate with them as so it was with Brian as he got into some minor issues,

A classic Kaufmann story is when during the Christmas season with the festive spirit in the air and the town lit up with all the Christmas lights.  We would go out and about and borrow the big bulbs from our neighbors and then pop them on the sidewalk like firecrackers.  But 'ol BK had to one up everyone that was not good enough.  BK and his friend Gary, the son of a local police officer, went to the police station and removed the light from the tree in front of Borough Hall and the station! 

Of course, they later got caught, got grounded.  Rinse and repeat for the Kaufmann boys and especially our firebrand Brian Patrick.  So just to recap and let it sink in.  BK and the son of the police officer thought it would be a good idea to go to the police station and remove the Christmas lights in front of the police station with the son of a police officer! We would later became neighbors with the same family we would buy a house several years later in Conshohocken.  Good people. 


Fellowship House


For once we had room to spreadout, could romp at the local park, play hoops and hangout at the Fellowship House, the town's community center, and expend all that joyful energy that the Kaufmann boys possessed.

The Fellowship House was simply know as The Fel.  How cool is that. 

The Fel was the lifeblood of the community.  Everything went down at the Fel. 

All the kids afterschool activities from basketball, kickball, board games, and ping pong happened at the Fel.  The building was a big cinderblock gym that had a big stage front, and ancillary rooms used for playing board games, hanging out, and just being with your friends,  There were locker rooms, and offices for the staff, and even an upstairs lounge where some of the older fellas could gather to spend some quality time together. 

To Be Continued


We all dream of fairy tales and living happily ever after, some couples seem to figure it out while others are challenged by having to share a vision, a purpose, and a future with someone else. The perception that life changes once we are married, when we are responsible for more than just ourselves, when others depend on us, life goes from being about me, to about us, to about them or so it goes.


Monday, November 10, 2014

Trained by a Jedi

Star Wars

I still remember be mesmerized after watching the first Star Wars movie released in 1977.  I was 13 years old and sat in the theater  afterwards wanting it to continue and thinking that this one one of the best experiences of my young life.  I left the movie excited and uplifted by what I just witnessed. 

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan the good guys in white conquer Darth Vader and the Empire in black. 
Although I didn't know it at the time, this was one of my early introductions to the importance and power of the mind in our daily lives.  By focusing our minds on good things that we desire and on outcomes that we want to achieve, we can help accomplish our goals.

The Force that Obi Wan, Luke's mentor, references in the movie is this powerful divine energy that pulses through all of life.  Obi and, later, Yoda teach Luke that he can harness this power to achieve his desires.  With this new found power Luke is able to overcome significant odds to defeat the Empire.

We can overcome our obstacles by choosing a better way to think and adopting a positive can do attitude.  Without realizing it at times, we are bombarded with a continuous stream of negativity in our daily lives, this impacts our thinking, health, and emotional well being.

We overcome the dark side or this negativity from consciously disconnecting from it and finding time to immerse ourselves in prayer and meditation. When we make space for silence, we allow our inherent peace and joy to emerge.  We need to take time to rejuvenate and condition our minds as well as our bodies.

May the Force be with you.

With Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
CoachKaufmann.com

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Wonderment

Buddha said that if we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. The wonderment of life unfolds every day right before our eyes. We often take it for granted or just are too absorbed in our own thoughts.  When we were realize that we all are an expression of the beauty in nature and the miracle of life, we can begin to fill our lives with joy.

Rumi said that we should give up our cleverness and seek bewilderment.  Simply choosing to see and find the beauty all around us. Notice how you feel when the cool breeze fills your lungs, or the warm sunshine warms your face, and the fall colors in the trees. These simple acts have the power to energize and restore us when we just take time to observe and enjoy.

Take a moment today to enjoy the beauty all around us and let it fill us with wonder.


With Love,

Coach K

coachkaufmann.com

Wonderment

Buddha said that if we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. The wonderment of life unfolds every day right before our eyes. We often take it for granted or just are too absorbed in our own thoughts.  When we were realize that we all are an expression of the beauty in nature and the miracle of life, we can begin to fill our lives with joy.

Rumi said that we should give up our cleverness and seek bewilderment.  Simply choosing to see and find the beauty all around us. Notice how you feel when the cool breeze fills your lungs, or the warm sunshine warms your face, and the fall colors in the trees. These simple acts have the power to energize and restore us when we just take time to observe and enjoy.

Take a moment today to enjoy the beauty all around us and let it fill us with wonder.


With Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
coachkaufmann.com