Monday, December 26, 2011

Row Row Row Your Boat Gently

We all know the nursery rhyme Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream, but how many of us realize that this a suitable motto to live our lives. Look at how hectic and busy our lives have become. Our children our so stacked with activities that they don't have time to be a child.

We spend our days in a blur from one activity to the next. We are living at warp speed. Is it any wonder we can feel disconnected. Where do we find time for each other, our families, friends, colleagues, and ourselves. Maybe we should focus more on quality and less on quantity. Stop eating with both hands!

Slow down, unplug. You don't row a boat in a frenzied mad dash but with a smooth rhythmic stroke. Just think how much better we would all feel if we just slowed down. My friend Dave always reminded me that the race does not always go to the swiftest but to those that keep on moving. Life is a journey to be enjoyed, or a joyful experience

Relax. Smile. Let's allow more time for joy and happiness to find you. And let's remember to row row row our boats gently down the stream. Merrily, Merrily life is but a dream.

All the Best,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com

The Great American Angst

Turn on the TV or radio and you can hear the fear through the airwaves. the headlines read America is finished, half of the population is in poverty.  The land of  plenty is covered by a big rain cloud these days. The people I talk to can't help but tell me how America's better days are behind it, how bad the economy is, and we are being passed by the likes of China, India, and other booming countries. What we forget is that China and India are countries and cultures that are thousands of years old with many cycles of boom and bust.

Many people that have built successful businesses and families, the backbone of the country, are genuinely concerned and fearful for their futures. One thing we have to continually remind ourselves to do is to ignore or unplug from the negativity. We don't have to ignore it but we don't have to wallow in it either. Many of us and our liveliehoods are being displaced. Our careers, businesses, and lifestyles may be obsolete. Time for new direction, a change, a new Adventure!

Great ideas, inventions, and innovations are happening everyday around us regardless of the political and economic climate, it's just that these folks are too focused on delivering their dreams that they don't let anything get in the way of pursuing their passion. Google, Apple, Microsoft, Yahoo, Amazon, Facebook are all companies that were planted and bloomed in various economies. The key is that the founders were too busy making their dream a reality to get distracted by naysayers.

That's what we need to do. Focus on your dreams whether it's opening a restaurant, going to college, being a dentist, finding your soulmate, having a child, a new business, getting healthy. Whatever!

Life is short, time is fleeting. Unplug from the doom and gloom. Time to get busy.

Our Dreams wait for no one.

All the Best,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Time - A Mother's Love

This time of year always has me reflecting back on our childhood Christmas celebrations. My three brothers and I would be so excited with what Santa was going to bring. The tree was decorated, the Christmas music with Johnny Mathias wafting through the house, and the fresh smell of pine created the perfect atmosphere.

I think of the gifts we received the latest electric racing car set, a new basketball, or a favorite team sweat shirt and that was all great, but the best was celebrating and sharing the holidays with Mom and the brothers. I think of all the gifts Santa brings our kids and wow they seem to get more in one year than we received in a lifetime but I'm not sure it's better.

Santa was a miracle worker! Despite limited resources, he always found a way to make Christmas special and I'm grateful for the greatest gift of all

A Mother's Love

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

All the Best,

Coach K

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Free Cheese

Welfare to Wealth

Helen grew up like any other young girl with dreams of being a princess, marrying prince charming, and living in a nice house with a white picket fence. But somewhere on the way to Oz her prince turned into a frog and hopped away, leaving her at the tender age of 25 with four boys under the age of 9 to fend for themselves.

Her dreams shattered, her bubble burst, she did what she could to provide for her boys and make a good life for them.  Her sole purpose in life became the survival of her and the boys. She begged and pleaded for money, food, and to make sure her boys were educated. Out of necessity, the young princess became a street fighter. She was an Irish Catholic from working class roots, and has an abiding faith in God. She would do whatever it takes.

Helen did something many of us will not do when life beats us down and crushes our dreams. Yes, she cried with a broken heart but she got back up and fought. She was determined to raise her boys as best she could. She made a simple but powerful choice and that choice was to STAND and DELIVER to do what was right, to sacrifice her life and dreams to take care of her boys. She didn't say poor me and pout. She fought tooth and nail and she battled with her boys to try and keep them in line. Dealing with her four boys on a daily basis was an emotional and physical drain, but she had a spirit that would not be broken. She was determined to survive.

Helen never had two nickels and she would send her boys to stand in line for free cheese and powdered milk, but she was a woman of great accomplishment, of tremendous achievement, and the most successful person I know. When it seemed that everyone else turned their back on Mom, she knew that her faith and God would be there for her no matter what.

All the Best,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
coachkaufmann.com

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Move Mountains - Intergrity

Integrity

A great story that illustrates integrity or just plain old stubborness. A good friend of mine is a contractor and was contacted about installing a sidewalk. He provided the quote to the wife, the buyer accepted and the work began. Upon completion of the concrete sidewalk, the husband is unhappy with the shade of gray color that the concrete dried.  The husband refuses to pay and my friend is dumbfounded.  Still in disbelief he explains the unpredictable nature of concrete curing and that the color will have natural variations. The husband refuses to pay and calls the police. The wife is embarrassed and mortified.

The police arrive and after hearing the explanation suggests that the husband pay up.  My friend at this point is angered, shocked, disappointed and most of all hurt. The wife put her trust in him and his craftsmanship, he delivered the work and did an excellent job. Before the husband could write a check, my friend had another idea.

Since the sidewalk was not paid for he felt it still belonged to him. He asked the police officer if instead of taking payment he could remove the sidewalk. The puzzled officer said yes and my friend proceeded to spend several hours chopping out the hardened concrete sidewalk by hand. The husband, wife, and officer watched shaking their heads in disbelief. My friend did not want to do business on any terms with the husband. Believe it or not my friend took his sidewalk home!

The wife afterwards called my friend and apologized profusely explaining how her husband was out of line, how he humiliated her and the family. She even sent him a check in the full amount for the work.

So I asked my friend, you did the work you deserve to be paid did you cash the check?

What do you think?

Wow!  At the end of the day, these are the people we should do business with, that we want to have as our friends. With a friend like that we can move mountains.

All the Best,

Coach K

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Life Well Lived

Harry the father of a good friend of mine passed away this week at the age of 91. I did not know the man personally but after listening to friends and family describe him, you couldn't help but think that the spirit of Harry is alive and well. I thought wow that's how we all should be remembered.

Harry was a great lover of life. A renaissance man. An acclaimed architect, a skier, a dancer, an artist, and perhaps most importantly a lover of people. Everyone felt welcomed and comfortable in his presence. Harry was not a millionaire or a financially wealthy man, but to listen to his friends and family describe him was to know he was the richest and most fortunate man in the world. It's funny how we touch so many lives without realizing it, how much influence we have, and how our spirit permeates others.

We all know people that are very successful and have accumulated tremendous riches. We all know fathers or mothers that are great providers but barely know their children or could share two words with them. I came away from the gathering and thought if we provide a nice house, nice cars, college educations, and all the goodies life has to offer but somehow didn't find the time to love, nurture, and connect with the people in our lives then we really wasted our short time together. We missed the juice of life, all the good stuff.

It's nice to provide for our families but when you hear people say that person is a "Great Provider" it's time to take notice and regain some balance in our lives.  Look to harness two of the most powerful forces in the universe Love and Kindness, be generous with them, use them often and freely. Just like the river is returned to the ocean that love and kindness is returned to us.

Like Harry let's all be known as Great Lovers of Life.

All the Best,


Tom Kaufmann
Coach K

Friday, October 7, 2011

Be Bold - Life Is Short

Steve Jobs, the Apple visionary, passed yesterday at the age of 56. I was reading an article and came across this wonderful quote from him

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
-Steve Jobs 

We all have an obligation to tap into our inner genius to follow that passion that simmers inside us. We don't need to be the next Steve Jobs but we do have an obligation to follow our hearts, to tap our potential. 

  Apple’s legendary Think Different commercial summed it up nicely:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
We start changing the world by changing our own world. Let's be bold life is truly short.


Below is a link for the Steve Jobs 1995 Stanford Commencement address


addresshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc


All the Best,

Coach K






Monday, July 11, 2011

Love Will Find A Way

Love Will Find a Way

A friend of mine finally found love after a long arduous search and they couldn't be happier.  We would talk often about how there was no one out there, how there must be something wrong, why couldn't love find them. We all know how life doesn't always give us what we want when we want it but just like anything else worthwhile persistence, perseverance, and patience pays off. How's that's for alliteration!

We all know it's hard to keep facing rejection and disappointment when a relationship doesn't work but the importance of remaining open, hopeful, and even expectant will help bring about the result we want.

I'm so glad and excited to see the newfound joy in my friend's life, the right love was worth the wait. A recent update my friend is engaged and set to be married next year.

And, as the old Pablo Cruise song goes,

Yeah it's all right
Once you get past the pain
Learn to find Love again
Keep your heart open cause

 Love will find a way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WVqjbBAdL0 (70's pablo cruise song for you young'uns)


All the best,

Coach K

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Win Baby Win!

Have you noticed the trend in youth sports today? Sports was always a wonderful vehicle to learn about teamwork, hard work, competition, sportmanship, and that old fashioned idea fun. These days it seems the focus is only about winning. What used to be great experience on the little league team, township basketball team, or local football team has morphed into a version of professional sports win at all costs mentality. From coaches to parents to fans, we've taken the fun out of youth sports.

What Happened to Fun
We have removed the simple pleasure of competing in sports. We now have 8 year olds playing a particular sport full time, with professional trainers. We have children playing 120 basketball games in a 3 month timeframe at the age of 11 years old and younger. I know parents want the best for their children but it seems we often live vicariouly through them trying to recapture our glory days. We're pushing them to win the game, be their best, obtain the scholarship. As parents and coaches, we've taken the fun out of sports. Instead of letting the children enjoy themselves, we've used the event to build up and support our own egos. We've made the sport more about us than the children.

Play Nice
At the very entry level of competitive sports, it should be about participation, competing, having fun, and learning how to both win and lose. Part of competing in sports is learning how to lose as welll as win. But more importantly is the idea of playing. We pushed the idea of competing and winning down to the lowest levels that even participating in a local recreation team becomes a burden for the children. We forget that youth sports is about skill and character development, about lettiing the children be kids and enjoy themselves.

A Time and Place
I understand the competitive nature of sports and as children mature and begin playing high school sports, they can make their own decsion of what to focus on and how much time to devote to the sport. Most top performing athletes have the innate talent and desire to get better, to learn more, it's simply in them. We should support them and guide them. Let them come to their own decisions. As they grow, sports and life become more competitive, but in the meantime, let's keep the fun and enjoyment in youth sports. Childhood should be a time of learning, nurturing, teaching, exploring, participating, and enjoying. They grow up soon enough, let them be kids.

Continued Success.

Coach K

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How Do You View The World?

BELIEFS

Do you view the world as a friendly place.

What are your beliefs? Do you believe that you deserve success, happiness, love, health, and all the wonderful things life has to offer. We often find it challenging to think we deserve or that we're entitled to all
of life's gifts, but anything you've ever achieved or received has begun with a thought, idea, or belief.

Anything you've acquired in your life began as a thought.  From buying a car, phone, deciding what to eat for dinner, or what movie to watch, it started with a simple idea. The same is true for the bigger things in our lives, from choosing a spouse, school, career, or a philosophy of how to live our lives.

EXPECTATIONS

What do we expect from life. Do we expect to be happy. Do we expect good things. Do we have any expectations at all. Often we find ourselves living reactively and expecting the worst. This negative self talk is very harmful and of course leads to undesirable results. Most of the time we find ourselves talking, acting, and behaving this way without any realization on our part.

We wake-up hear the news, mostly bad then go to sleep again watching the news mostly bad and we become conditioned to this negative messaging and negative expecations. Let's make a simple shift to positive expectations, expect good things to happen, look for the good things in your life. Try and catch yourself next time you start beating yourself up when something doesn't go your way. Stop the "this always happens to me" and "i'm no good, i'm fat, ugly, stupid" chatter! Sure bad things happen we make mistakes but do we let this define us and our lives.

THE WORLD IS A FRIENDLY PLACE

We have so much to be grateful for, we woke up today, we have our health, we have freedom, we have the gift of LIFE and yet we find ourselves griping about some inconsequential thing. Pay attention to the language you use to with yourself and others especially your loved ones, catch yourself when you start playing back old disempowering memories and replace them with good energizing thoughts.

Being good to yourself starts with speaking and thinking highly of yourself and others. Try thinking of the world as a friendly place working with you to deliver all your heart's desires. Start giving yourself and others compliments. Pay attention to how often you smile and laugh throughout the day.

Just like the sunshine warms and energizes, a more postive attitude and outlook will bring more success into your life. Yes you deserve all of the good things life has to offer. Start by thinking of the world as a friendly place partnering with you to make your dreams come true.

Continued Success and All the Best,

Much Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Lost and Found - The Ted Williams Story

Did you see the lastest You Tube sensation about a homeless man Ted Williams, no not the famous baseball player, that was standing at an intersection in Ohio with a homemade sign asking for donations.

Lost and Found
Ted Williams is a professionally trained announcer with a golden voice. He falls into drugs and alchohol and becomes homeless.  A local Ohio television station drives up to his intersection and offers him a dollar if he just provides a little demo of his voice talents.

Upon opening his mouth and hearing him speak, your first reaction is WOW! What a voice! What a talent. How did he wind up homeless on a corner with talent like that.

How did he become Lost.

Share Your Talents
Besides Ted's incredible voice, something else struck me about him. He genuinely seemed happy despite being homeless standing at an intersection asking for money. He is grateful, appreciative, and thankful to the man in the car offering him a dollar for the opportunity to share his talent. More importanly, someone caring enough to listen to him.

Now 4 million views later Ted is an overnight sensation with job offers pouring in from everywhere.

Let Happiness Find You
The beautiful thing about the story is that here is a person seemingly down on his luck that finds instant fame and relative fortune. A feel good story. Despite being down and out, Ted continued to go out every day with a good attitude and stand at an intersection and literally let his VOICE be heard.

We all need to let our voices be heard. Share our unique talents with the world. Let ourselves be found, and share a little love and kindness with everyone we come in contact with on a daily basis.

You deserve happiness. Let if find you.

http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/multimedia/video/video.html?videoUrl=http://www.dispatch.com/live/export-content/sites/dispatch/videos/2011/01/03/golden-homeless-voice-092457.xml

Continued Success and All the Best,

Much Love,

Coach K
Tom Kaufmann
tkaufmanncoaching.com

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A New Year - Let's Make it Happy

When the new year rolls around it's always helpful to express a little gratitude for all the wonderful things in our lives.  Here are a few ideas to help make 2011 and beyond a HAPPY new year

1. Do what you love no matter what.  Detach from the outcome and do what you love. My friend Anthony is a contactor but his real passion is art. He is a terrific painter and despite having a busy schedule makes time to follow his passion which is paint. Make sure you find time in your life to do what you have a passion for and something that you enjoy. What's the point of having money and material goodies if what your doing is making you and everyone around you miserable. Make the time to do what you love, your whole sense of well being will improve.

2. Practice a little more love and kindness with everyone you meet especially your family that knows all too well how to push your buttons. We often find it easier to be nice to strangers than our loved ones since we are all good at carrying around past hurts and grudges. Lighten up and let it all go. Forgiveness is a wonderful elixir. And don't be so hard on YOURSELF.

3. Give up the need to always be right. When we give up the notion of always being right and always having to win the argument we bring more peace into our lives. Susbstitue the attitude of always being right with the idea of always being kind. Our Egos our always telling us how important it is to be right as if being right means we are better than the other person. When we surrender the idea of always being right, we become more at ease with ourselves and the world around us.

4. Listen more. Talk less. We all want to be heard but  most of us love to talk.  Most of listen halfheartedly, just waiting for our turn to talk to express our opinion. Try being an understanding  listener, just hear the person out let them express themselves. Just listen don't judge. When we listen to someone we're really acknowledging and validating them. 

5. Stop judging everyone and everything. Yes, this is a hard one, it seems we've been conditioned to judge everything through our own narrow viewpoint or to be critical. How often to we form a complete opinion of someone when we really don't even know them. When we give up the need to judge others, we in turn stop judging ourselves which allows us to live more peacefully and without the need to put ourselves and others down.

6. Turn down the DRAMA. Avoid conflict and keep things in perspective. While it sometimes seems hard to avoid, living a more peaceful and happy life means eliminating the unecessary conflict and drama that often finds us on a daily basis. When we give up our need to be right and win every argument and disagreement, the conflict and drama in our lives diminishes and our happiness flourishes.  How do we reduce conflict? We simply choose not to respond with anger, hatred, or meaness. Remember, it takes two to argue and fight. We don't have to agree but that doesn't mean we have to fight either.

7. Surrender. Giving up the need to be right and to win is liberating. When we live from our passion and creativity we express and share our talents without the need for validation or approval. We do it because we love it, because it brings us joy. Do the thing and it will give you power.

Here's to a wonderful 2011.

Continued success and all the best,

Much Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com