My son plays high school lacrosse. He was named captain during his senior season and was gearing up to really enjoy his final year. Well, during the second game of the season against the local rival, he was hit with a vicious check that knocked him out and broke his jaw. There goes the season. The best laid plans....ugh!
The game was against the neighboring rival and just the season before one of my son's teammates, that went on to graduate, delivered a similar type of check against a player and knocked him out of the game. Thankfully, the boy was not seriously injured.
I later learned that with about 5 minutes left in the game and with the other team holding a comfortable lead, my son's ex teammate walked into the stadium right before the nasty blow was delivered to my son. Coincidence? Karma? All I can think of is Wow. Did the appearance of this young man returning to the site of his last game where he finished his career on such a low and ugly note manifest itself in reoccurrence of the flagrant hit. Did the universe deliver justice and balance the scales.
I feel humble, reverence, and vulnerable to the whims of daily living.
We all know that life carries risks but we like to think those risks are within our control or our circle of influence. Not always. We do, try, and hope for the best even when we know at times that will not be enough. But what can we do.
We have faith.
We pick ourselves up, we heal, and we look forward to better days to come.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
All Things Are Passing God Never Changes
One of the phrases that we can rely on during challenging times is that all things are passing God never changes. God is the same as Love. When we are feeling frustrated, angry, anxious, dejected, or worried it's helpful to quiet ourselves and bask in the love of God, family, and friends. Try and send loving thoughts to the source of your frustration. Most of the times we find that it is ourselves that needs this love during these trying times, but love is free so let's be generous and give it away.
This too shall pass.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
This too shall pass.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Most Important Person in the World
The most important person in the world is yourself. Think about it. No one should care more about you than you do. You need to be generous with praising you, nurturing you, caring for you, and loving you. This simple idea is something that we are all born with but along the way gets lost. Our well meaning parents, teachers, friends, and often ourselves belittle our ideas and dreams, and we fall far short of our potential.
The corollary to treating yourself with love and respect is to treat others with the same dignity whether they deserve it or not. A powerful idea for optimal living is to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world. Why? Because in their eyes they are the most important person in the world.
Everyone deserves our consideration. When we give love, kindness, and respect to others it is returned to us. This can be difficult to grasp when we feel someone has wronged us, treated us rudely, or has harmed us in any way. We don't have to agree with the person or their actions but we can still acknowledge the divine beauty in them and in all of us.
Everyone we encounter on our journey is an opportunity to make a simple connection, an opportunity to make the world a better place by encouraging someone, by helping them. The whole world is improved by this simple mindset.
We can put our judgments away and begin to treat ourselves and others we meet on our journey as the most important people in our lives.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
The corollary to treating yourself with love and respect is to treat others with the same dignity whether they deserve it or not. A powerful idea for optimal living is to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world. Why? Because in their eyes they are the most important person in the world.
Everyone deserves our consideration. When we give love, kindness, and respect to others it is returned to us. This can be difficult to grasp when we feel someone has wronged us, treated us rudely, or has harmed us in any way. We don't have to agree with the person or their actions but we can still acknowledge the divine beauty in them and in all of us.
Everyone we encounter on our journey is an opportunity to make a simple connection, an opportunity to make the world a better place by encouraging someone, by helping them. The whole world is improved by this simple mindset.
We can put our judgments away and begin to treat ourselves and others we meet on our journey as the most important people in our lives.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Tiger Woods - Masters Controversy
As the 2013 Masters tournament unfolded on Friday, Tiger Woods hit a shot on the beautiful 15th hole that ricocheted off the flag and remarkably spun back into the water. As the sporting public watched in stunned silence, having been wobbled by incredible bad luck, surveyed the situation, gathered himself, considered his options, and made his drop.
That's when things got interesting. Watching the telecast, no one commented on the drop. Everyone was dumbfounded that the ball hit the pin and spun back into the water. When Tiger went onto to hit an incredible recovery shot to within 3 feet and made the resilient bogey putt, he kept his tournament hopes alive.
After the round, Tiger was interviewed by ESPN and commented that he dropped the ball 2 yards back from the original spot. The PGA and Masters phone lines then lit up when the public called in and flagged a potential rules violation in not dropping the ball near the original spot. Many said that Tiger should have known the rule, took an improper drop, should have been penalized an additional two strokes, then went on to sign an incorrect scorecard and should have been disqualified. On the other hand, at the time, he did not know the score was incorrect and did not knowingly sign an improper card.
Due to the phoning public, the Masters rules committee reviewed the shot prior to Tiger's round ending and ruled that the drop was proper and no penalty required. After the public phoned in yet again and referenced Tiger's ESPN interview, did the rules committee rule that Tiger violated a rule and would be given a two shot penalty. This all transpired on Saturday, the day after the original shot.
What's amazing to me is the public's involvement in the sport of golf. In no other sport, does the public get to have direct input. We have all witnessed incorrect calls in baseball, soccer, football, and basketball and the play goes on and we live with the outcome. In golf the public has a say and can determine the outcome after the play has occurred and can impact the event the next day. Astonishing.
Every sport has officials including golf. The officials must make a determination at the time of the occurrence, to come back after the fact with feedback from the viewing public detracts from the event.
Just like in other sports, there is human error and golf is no exception. Part of the human error perhaps adds to the drama.
The time has come to eliminate the fans from determining the outcome of golf events.
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
That's when things got interesting. Watching the telecast, no one commented on the drop. Everyone was dumbfounded that the ball hit the pin and spun back into the water. When Tiger went onto to hit an incredible recovery shot to within 3 feet and made the resilient bogey putt, he kept his tournament hopes alive.
After the round, Tiger was interviewed by ESPN and commented that he dropped the ball 2 yards back from the original spot. The PGA and Masters phone lines then lit up when the public called in and flagged a potential rules violation in not dropping the ball near the original spot. Many said that Tiger should have known the rule, took an improper drop, should have been penalized an additional two strokes, then went on to sign an incorrect scorecard and should have been disqualified. On the other hand, at the time, he did not know the score was incorrect and did not knowingly sign an improper card.
Due to the phoning public, the Masters rules committee reviewed the shot prior to Tiger's round ending and ruled that the drop was proper and no penalty required. After the public phoned in yet again and referenced Tiger's ESPN interview, did the rules committee rule that Tiger violated a rule and would be given a two shot penalty. This all transpired on Saturday, the day after the original shot.
What's amazing to me is the public's involvement in the sport of golf. In no other sport, does the public get to have direct input. We have all witnessed incorrect calls in baseball, soccer, football, and basketball and the play goes on and we live with the outcome. In golf the public has a say and can determine the outcome after the play has occurred and can impact the event the next day. Astonishing.
Every sport has officials including golf. The officials must make a determination at the time of the occurrence, to come back after the fact with feedback from the viewing public detracts from the event.
Just like in other sports, there is human error and golf is no exception. Part of the human error perhaps adds to the drama.
The time has come to eliminate the fans from determining the outcome of golf events.
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Improving Your Performance
The first step towards improving your performance is Awareness. What is it you are looking to improve? Why? These questions are important and helpful to understand your motivation. Your goal may be simply to achieve your ideal weight for health reasons or to be able to play with your children or grandchildren. That's fine.
The Simple Steps to Improve Your Performance -
1. Write it down. Whatever you want to achieve take the step of writing it down. I am millionaire, I weigh 170 pounds, I am healthy, I am an excellent student, I am a marathoner. The task of writing it down takes it from your mind, or the mental and places the goal in the physical. By putting the goal on paper, you have made it more real. Get in the habit of continually writing it down whatever the current status.
2. See it. Use your imagination to see yourself already accomplishing your goal. Visualize yourself getting on the scale and seeing your ideal weight, shooting your best score on the golf course, or running across the finish line.
3. Say it. Affirm your goals. Say it out load, say it silently, but be sure to state it. Share it with friends or keep it to yourself.
4. Begin it. The most important step to achieving any goal or improving our performance is to begin. Start and commit to achieving your goal. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. When you begin, don't put pressure on yourself with the need to see fast results. Be patient, enjoy the process, stay in the moment. The journey is more important than the destination.
5. Ask for help. We have a divine essence that enables us to overcome any challenge or obstacle. When we humble ourselves and ask for help miraculous thing can happen. Find a friend. Find someone that will support you, that will pick you up when you fall, that will help motivate you. A friend or even a stranger wants to see you succeed and will help you immensely. The human spirit is alive and well, and there is a divine bond that connects us all. There are resources available to all of us that we can't even fathom.
With Love,
Coach K
The Simple Steps to Improve Your Performance -
1. Write it down. Whatever you want to achieve take the step of writing it down. I am millionaire, I weigh 170 pounds, I am healthy, I am an excellent student, I am a marathoner. The task of writing it down takes it from your mind, or the mental and places the goal in the physical. By putting the goal on paper, you have made it more real. Get in the habit of continually writing it down whatever the current status.
2. See it. Use your imagination to see yourself already accomplishing your goal. Visualize yourself getting on the scale and seeing your ideal weight, shooting your best score on the golf course, or running across the finish line.
3. Say it. Affirm your goals. Say it out load, say it silently, but be sure to state it. Share it with friends or keep it to yourself.
4. Begin it. The most important step to achieving any goal or improving our performance is to begin. Start and commit to achieving your goal. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. When you begin, don't put pressure on yourself with the need to see fast results. Be patient, enjoy the process, stay in the moment. The journey is more important than the destination.
5. Ask for help. We have a divine essence that enables us to overcome any challenge or obstacle. When we humble ourselves and ask for help miraculous thing can happen. Find a friend. Find someone that will support you, that will pick you up when you fall, that will help motivate you. A friend or even a stranger wants to see you succeed and will help you immensely. The human spirit is alive and well, and there is a divine bond that connects us all. There are resources available to all of us that we can't even fathom.
With Love,
Coach K
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
10 Lessons From Dad
10 Lessons From Dad
1. Know that your Mom and Dad love you very much. We love you unconditionally. That means when you do well and when you screw up. The best thing we ever accomplished or will ever achieve in life is having you as children and being parents. Nothing else even comes close.
2. You are special. Not better than anyone. Special, unique. You have been given the gift of life. You all have unique talents that you will uncover as you go through life. Your key to happiness is to develop those talents, use those talents, and share those talents. Your talents are usually linked to the things you like, the things you enjoy.
3. Treat yourself and everyone you meet with love, kindness, and respect. It's easy to do this with nice people such as family and friends, but can be a challenge to strangers or especially those that are mean and rude. We are part of the same human race and everyone should be treated with dignity. You don't need to take abuse, and you need to defend yourself, but the easiest and best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation.
4. Be nice. Being nice to others solves many challenges in life. When you have a chance to help someone do it. Sometimes all that is needed is a smile and a look that says you care. Yes, you will encounter jerks, maybe they are having a bad day. Don't let them make you become a jerk. Send them a silent thought of encouragement and go on your way.
5. Be Giving. Give of your time, energy, talents, joy, money, hope, and encouragement. The world needs good people. You are good people. Share the love.
6. Take care of each other and lend a helping hand to others when you can. Grandma K always told us to stick together and to take care of your own. I know it's hard to imagine between the bickering over computers, food, the shower, and the toilet seat that you are the best friends you will ever have in your lives. As you grow older, remember to stay in touch with one another and help each other in good times and bad.
7. Believe in yourself. Self confidence is one of the most important traits to have. Believe in what you are doing, find people that support you, and will help you. Seek good advice and then make your own decision, it's your life. And remember Dad is always here for you.
8. Be adventurous. Life is fun. Go out and experience life, do things, visit places, make friends. Be more interested in experiencing all the wonderful things life has to offer. Focus less on acquiring material things that will be out of style, broken, or forgotten before you have finished paying the bill.
9. Live beneath your means. Not to be confused with low expectations. Pay yourself first. Try to save at least 10% of what you earn and ideally 20%. Save your money it will give you flexibility in life. Try to buy assets or things that go up in value. All the cars, clothes, and electronics you buy today are worthless in a few years. Try and pay cash for everything. No car loans or even mortgages. Don't try and keep up with your friends who have the nice watch, fancy car, and sharp clothes. Be true to yourself, know yourself, and be comfortable with your style.
10 Keep the faith. Develop your spirituality. We are spirits living in a physical body. Get to know God, talk with him, ask him for help on your journey. Trust your intuition. Take care of your body, eat good food and drink water. Develop a sense of peace in your life and try and maintain that sense that all will be well. Be good, do good. And remember to feel good is to feel God.
All my Love,
Dad
1. Know that your Mom and Dad love you very much. We love you unconditionally. That means when you do well and when you screw up. The best thing we ever accomplished or will ever achieve in life is having you as children and being parents. Nothing else even comes close.
2. You are special. Not better than anyone. Special, unique. You have been given the gift of life. You all have unique talents that you will uncover as you go through life. Your key to happiness is to develop those talents, use those talents, and share those talents. Your talents are usually linked to the things you like, the things you enjoy.
3. Treat yourself and everyone you meet with love, kindness, and respect. It's easy to do this with nice people such as family and friends, but can be a challenge to strangers or especially those that are mean and rude. We are part of the same human race and everyone should be treated with dignity. You don't need to take abuse, and you need to defend yourself, but the easiest and best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation.
4. Be nice. Being nice to others solves many challenges in life. When you have a chance to help someone do it. Sometimes all that is needed is a smile and a look that says you care. Yes, you will encounter jerks, maybe they are having a bad day. Don't let them make you become a jerk. Send them a silent thought of encouragement and go on your way.
5. Be Giving. Give of your time, energy, talents, joy, money, hope, and encouragement. The world needs good people. You are good people. Share the love.
6. Take care of each other and lend a helping hand to others when you can. Grandma K always told us to stick together and to take care of your own. I know it's hard to imagine between the bickering over computers, food, the shower, and the toilet seat that you are the best friends you will ever have in your lives. As you grow older, remember to stay in touch with one another and help each other in good times and bad.
7. Believe in yourself. Self confidence is one of the most important traits to have. Believe in what you are doing, find people that support you, and will help you. Seek good advice and then make your own decision, it's your life. And remember Dad is always here for you.
8. Be adventurous. Life is fun. Go out and experience life, do things, visit places, make friends. Be more interested in experiencing all the wonderful things life has to offer. Focus less on acquiring material things that will be out of style, broken, or forgotten before you have finished paying the bill.
9. Live beneath your means. Not to be confused with low expectations. Pay yourself first. Try to save at least 10% of what you earn and ideally 20%. Save your money it will give you flexibility in life. Try to buy assets or things that go up in value. All the cars, clothes, and electronics you buy today are worthless in a few years. Try and pay cash for everything. No car loans or even mortgages. Don't try and keep up with your friends who have the nice watch, fancy car, and sharp clothes. Be true to yourself, know yourself, and be comfortable with your style.
10 Keep the faith. Develop your spirituality. We are spirits living in a physical body. Get to know God, talk with him, ask him for help on your journey. Trust your intuition. Take care of your body, eat good food and drink water. Develop a sense of peace in your life and try and maintain that sense that all will be well. Be good, do good. And remember to feel good is to feel God.
All my Love,
Dad
Monday, April 1, 2013
Visualize - Cutting Down the Nets
I just saw a great story on Jim Valvano and the North Carolina State basketball team that went on an incredible winning streak to win the 1983 NCAA championship with one of the greatest wins over a heavily favored Houston team.
The NC State team followed up an air ball shot with seconds remaining to win in dramatic, unbelievable fashion. One of the first things Coach Valvano did when he came to NC from Iona was tell the team that he had a vision that he was going to win a national championship and that this was the team to accomplish the goal.
He was so committed to the goal that he devoted an entire practice to cutting down the nets, which is a tradition for the winning team. Each player takes a turn to cut down a piece of the net with the coach cutting down the last thread. The team would get out a step ladder, grab the scissors, and each take turns cutting a piece of the net. And this did not just happen once, the team would regularly have practices were they would cut down the nets. Who does that?
The first time the team did it felt goofy, funny, unreal, but as the team continued to practice cutting down the nets and celebrating their victory they began to believe it could actually happen. Perhaps subconsciously at first but the seed was planted.
Coach Valvano genius was in having the team share in his vision, in having the players share the same belief that he did. This NC State team could win a national championship. This happened at the time when the ACC league had Michael Jordan at North Carolina and Ralph Sampson at Virginia, two of the greatest players in ACC history. NC State wasn't even figured to be a contender for the league championship let alone the national championship.
Fast forward and after a mediocre regular season, NC State must win the ACC league championship tournament just to make the NCAA tourney. Entering the NCAA's as a six seed, the team goes on in dramatic fashion to beat Houston in one of the greatest college games in history to actually win the national championship.
What once was a dream had now become real.
And it all started with a simple vision of Cutting Down the Nets.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
The NC State team followed up an air ball shot with seconds remaining to win in dramatic, unbelievable fashion. One of the first things Coach Valvano did when he came to NC from Iona was tell the team that he had a vision that he was going to win a national championship and that this was the team to accomplish the goal.
He was so committed to the goal that he devoted an entire practice to cutting down the nets, which is a tradition for the winning team. Each player takes a turn to cut down a piece of the net with the coach cutting down the last thread. The team would get out a step ladder, grab the scissors, and each take turns cutting a piece of the net. And this did not just happen once, the team would regularly have practices were they would cut down the nets. Who does that?
The first time the team did it felt goofy, funny, unreal, but as the team continued to practice cutting down the nets and celebrating their victory they began to believe it could actually happen. Perhaps subconsciously at first but the seed was planted.
Coach Valvano genius was in having the team share in his vision, in having the players share the same belief that he did. This NC State team could win a national championship. This happened at the time when the ACC league had Michael Jordan at North Carolina and Ralph Sampson at Virginia, two of the greatest players in ACC history. NC State wasn't even figured to be a contender for the league championship let alone the national championship.
Fast forward and after a mediocre regular season, NC State must win the ACC league championship tournament just to make the NCAA tourney. Entering the NCAA's as a six seed, the team goes on in dramatic fashion to beat Houston in one of the greatest college games in history to actually win the national championship.
What once was a dream had now become real.
And it all started with a simple vision of Cutting Down the Nets.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
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