Saturday, April 20, 2019

Wild Irish Rose - A Mother's Love

Helen

 You Owe Me!

"Frankie, Tommy, Chrissy, Brian whatever you're name is, remember you boys Owe Me!"

And Mom was right. 

Mom would often remind us her four boys, Tommy, Frankie, Brian, and Chrissy of the sacrifices she made to bring us into the world. It's a family motto and rallying cry that my three brothers and I use to this day. Besides continually reminding us of what we owed her, she steadfastly implored us to stick together no matter what.  That we were in fact each others soul mates and we would be there for each other though life's ups and downs. Spoken like only a Mother can. 

Helen Ann Keel was born in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia in 1943  She was the black hair, dazzling blue eyed belle of the family, the daughter of her working class parents with Irish and German roots. Her mother Katherine Gallagher and father Frank were devoted to each other and their family.    

Mom was the fourth of five children girl from an Irish Catholic family.  Her oldest sister Kitty, older brothers Frank and Joe, and her younger sister Judy. Like most families from the City, they would spend their summers in Wildwood enjoying Laura's fudge on the boardwalk and Mack's pizza. Kitty would go on to marry and have a daughter, Frank became a Philly police officer then went onto business success.  Frank would also have four boys just like his little sister Sissy. 

Dad was also born in Fairmount in 1943, a legacy of the WWII generation. He was the second from a Irish/German catholic family of four.  Dad's parents had also settled in Fairmount.  They lived in a small interior row home on Perot street. Dad's father was a tough blue collar worker of German descent. Grandpop who would show us some boxing moves while watching TV in his slippers and robe and coddling a can of Ortlieb's beer.  

Dad's mom Katherine was a lovely but tired Irish love that always had a meal and some money for her grandchildren to go to the corner store to get some candy. I remember throwing the dimpled rubber ball again the stoop, and having dinner down at the local watering hole. Dad had an older sister Billy who would happily marry and live in Fairmount, and two younger brothers Johnny and Joe. Johnny would go to Vietnam and struggle with dependency while Joe would go on to become a successful family and businessman.


First Love

Mom would fall in love with a handsome athlete named Thomas J Kaufmann or Tommy from the same blue collar Fairmount neighborhood right off Spring Garden street by the Art Museum. They belonged to neighboring parishes and lived two blocks from one another. Tommy would play basketball with her brothers at the Boat House gym on famed Boat House row of Philly that lines the Schuylkill river along Kelly drive, named after famous Philadelphian and ardent rower Bill Kelly brother of Princess Grace Kelly.

Mom went to all girls high school Hallahan while Pop was bused all the way to South Philly's Bishop Neumann after local Roman Catholic was at capacity. Mom's brothers attended nearby Roman Catholic, Frank player football while Joe was a basketball player. 

Pop upon graduating from Neumann in 1961 was soon  drafted into the Korean War. He would spend two years in Korea and be medically discharged in 1962

The attractive couple would fall deeply in love and be married by their 20th birthdays in 1963 soon after graduating from high school. The two were beginning their fairy tale journey, he the handsome prince and she the beautiful princess.  I can still see the lovely outdoor wedding pictures of the smiling, happy couple from historic Fairmount Park. 

White Picket Fences

Chesnut Hill, Philadelphia 1970

Mom like all princesses had dreams of castles and white picket fences.  She found her Prince Charming and was now going to live happily ever after. 

Soon after the wedding, I was born in July of 1964 while both Mom and Dad were a young 21 at the time. He was working as a local package delivery driver with H&M delivery and they rented a house in aspiring Chesnut Hill which is a delightful blend of the academic, professional, and artistic classes. So while technically in the city, it borders bucolic suburban Lafayette Hill and Springfield, PA. 

Historic Chesnut Hill dates back to the American Revolution with cobblestone streets, a great neighborhood bohemian vibe, where the locals stroll the streets, and enjoy talking with the neighbors. Beautiful Chesnut Hill is a Normal Rockwell painting come to life. Mom had high expectations, and did not want to stay in a small stifling city rowhouse. 

Mom's parents had both passed around the time she finished high school, and her older siblings had moved on with their lives. Her connection to Fairmount was gone.  Mom wanted to leave Fairmount and start a new life with just the two of them.  She wanted him all to herself.  

Mom wanted her castle, her single family house with the white picket fence. 

Dad's both parents were still living, and he had family and friends pulling him back to Fairmount. His life was back in Fairmount, he was comfortable being close to his family and the boys back in the neighborhood.  His weekly basketball game, his softball team, everything he knew was in the city he loved. At the young age of 21, he wasn't ready to let his old life go just yet.

We rented a small twin on a quiet street. Chris was just born and the fourth boy before the age of 26 put some pressure on their fragile marriage.  Dad may have been experiencing some emotional recurrences from Korea and Mom had her hands full with the four of us and not enough money to go around.  Mom would hock her diamond wedding ring for $400 so she could feed her four growing boys.  When she returned to get the diamond, the pawn dealer to her she was late and the ring was sold!  Mom is 76 now and just recounted this story to me the other day.  She remembers it like it was yesterday, and you can still hear the heartbreak in her voice.  A diamond is indeed a girl's best friend.

The Kaufmann's were becoming the rolling stones as we prepared to move for the third time in our young lives.

Roxborough

After struggling with the rent in Chesnut Hill, we migrated over to neighboring Roxborough with its steep hills and strong sense of community.  We had a little two bedroom roach motel next to Daisy field and the wondrous Wissahickon Valley trail that tacks the meandering Wissahickon Creek. Wissahickon was named by the local Lenape Indians and means Yellow Water.  As I grew older and lived nearby, I would find myself gravitating to the magical place for serene walks and runs among the trees with fellow nature lovers. 

The brothers were all born in Chesnut Hill surprisingly the same as my children when we lived in the bordering suburban town of Plymouth Meeting.  Working class Roxborough was full of kids our age, and we made fast friends and started hanging out with the older guys. Good guys that taught us how to egg a Septa bus and how to take the best route to get all the Halloween candy.  One of them was named Dave and the other Kevin,  I wish I could remember their last names and tell them how much they meant to us.  We would flip baseball cards, and I remember losing a lot to a master flipper.  I was stubborn and kept on losing.  I had my coming out in baseball at the age of 6 at Daisy field where it was obvious playing with the other older kids that I had a little ability, all thanks to Pop who was a standout first baseman at Bishop Neumann high school and had a try out with Pittsburgh Pirates. 

I remember one funny story and yes there are many.  Pop was off to work and Mom was wrestling with Chris the baby and the other two boys, she was getting ready to walk me to Kindergarten a few blocks away.  Mom said, "Tommy start walking while I get the kids ready".  I wound up finding my way and made it in time for class.  Mom came along a half hour later with the brothers, and peeked in the first floor window to make sure I arrived safely.  That was just the start of our next 12 years together. Today, if a 6 year walked alone to school it would be a national story and Mom would be arrested. 

So there was the family. Mom, Dad, and the four boys living in our little two bedroom driving a metallic green Chevy Caprice.  Six years had passed it was 1970, and the Princess and Prince were about to embark on their greatest adventure in the working class suburban steel town set by the very same Skukyllkill river.

Conshohocken

Conshohocken founded in 1850 is a town of 10,000 people and about one square mile.  Back in 1970, Conshy was a blue collar steel mill town. Alan Wood steel was the company that provided jobs for the locals. The town was known for its hardscrabble mentality, and was filled with churches, schools, bars, ball fields, firehouses, and a Community center.

Conshohocken or Pleasant Valley in the local Indian (Lenape) tongue, was set against the Skuchyllkill river rising up from the water's edge from Elm St, to Hector St. to the avenues counting up from 1st to 13th.  The main boulevard is known as Fayette St. after the great French general and American Revolutionary hero General Marquis de Lafayette.  Conshohocken is about 20 miles northwest from the birthplace of freedom Philadelphia's Independence Hall and 10 miles from historic Valley Forge.

Conshohocken or Conshy in local lingo was a town known for four things schools and churches, bars, and the community center called The Fellowship House otherwise known as the Fel.  The town had four Catholic churches.  St. Matthew's or St. Matt's located at 3rd and Harry Streets was for the Irish, St. Cosmas and Damian or St. Cos residing at West 6th Ave for the Italians, and smaller St. Mary's for a devoted Polish community on Maple street.St. Garbriel's or St. Gabe's is located just across the Matsonford bridge in neighboring West Conshohocken.

Each of the four churches contained schools with St. Matt's being the largest at around 200 students, St. Cos around 175, while St. Mary's and St. Gabe's each had approximately 100 students.
The schools and churches were the bedrock of the community. There were also several Baptist and Protestant churches within its cozy borders. Harvey S. Walker was a public elementary school that was right across the street from St. Matt's and close to the little town library.

Conshohocken would host the annual Fourth of July Soap Box derby down Fayette Street and the fireworks show later that evening.  The 4th was a big holiday for the town and us, we would light firecrackers and sparklers, and an occasional M-80 that would blow your ear drum.  The festivities included watching the soap box derby. The cars were kept in the gym at the Fel before the race, and you would pick out your favorite based on it's sleek design.  One of our good friends Al actually raced in the Derby and won a few races.

When the night came we would migrate up to the B field a few blocks away to watch the fireworks.  The fireworks were actually held in "A" field stadium on East 10th avenue, but why go inside where you have to pay when you can see the show just as well outside the walls.  Folks would bring blankets and the town would sprawl out on the field and enjoy the show. We would then gravitate back to Marywood park and have our own fireworks show on the merry-go-round  complete with bottle rockets, firecrackers, and roman candles.  Summer had begun.

Conshohocken was always a diverse town of different ethnicities and cultures fom the Irish, Italian, African American, to the Polish, and German. Conshy was a metling pot of the working class. The town had plenty of parks, ball fields, and outdoor basketball courts for us to play.  Perfect for growing boys to exert their abundant energy.  The heart of Conshohocken and the town gathering spot was the Fellowship House.  The Fel was the town community center with an indoor basketball gym, game room area, Hall of Fame trophy room, and Senior citizen lounge upstairs. It even had a stage that was probably used for local theatre plays back in the day, but now was just used to keep the ping pong table.

The Fel was more than a community center to us it was our personal Cathedral. We would spend more time there than any other place in Conshy, and as time went on it would help shape and define the men we would go on to become.

220 E. 5th Avenue

Without realizing it Helen and Tom would stumble on a perfect little gem of a town to raise four growing boys.  They were in love and Mom was finally getting her suburban house with a white picket fence, or at least a small 3br/1bth twin, aournd 1000 square feet, with her own little yard.  Her little slice of heaven. For Pop, well that was yet to be decided.

I remember the excitement and buzz about moving from the tiny two bedroom apartment in Roxborough.  And while we were sad to leave our new found friends, we'd probably only been there a year or so, we were excited to move into a big new house. At the time in 1970, I was 6, Frank was 4, Brian 3, and Chris was under a year old.

I'm not sure where all the new found wealth came from but besides buying a new house in 1970 for the princely sum of $10,000, Mom and Dad also bought a brand new shiny red Volkswagen squareback station wagon.  I can still see how giddy we all were when we piled into gleaming red box.

That little red squareback wagon has a lot of secrets to share. And so many of our great memories are in the family cars.

Mom had us all in nearby Norristown one day and ran into the  local Welfare office building with baby Chris, leaving the three of us in the car by ourselves, she wasn't gone long maybe twenty minutes.  We still had the Chevy Caprice and being inquisitive we proceeded to put the car in neutral, release the emergency break and start the car rolling gently down the parking lot.  While the car started to move, we decided the best thing to do what to jump so we opened the door and leapt from the car.  Poor Mom she came out to find the rear driver's side door sheared from the car.  We were OK but there was the door laying lost on the blacktop lot. We picked the door up, put it in the trunk and drove home without a rear door.

We spent a lot of time in Norristown, the county seat of Montgomery County.  We would often go to visit the Welfare offices, see Dr. Cipriano,  the local Salvation Army, Marcie's Water Ice, and Kmart.

Was this the fairy tale Mom had in mind.

The Fel

The Fel would play a large part in all of our lives, as it did for many of the youth in Conshy.  We would spend the majority of our childhood playing, competing, and just flat out enjoying ourselves with all the kids from the neighborhood.  Our days were spent playing basketball on one of the six outdoor courts or in the undersized indoor gym. The Fel also had a large stage with sliding doors that could be closed on from the gym.  The stage had different uses over the years from ping pong to weight room and we utilized every bit of the place. 

There was a reception area that would double as a game room for after school activities, it's where we played Connect Four, Stratego, Battleship, and Rebound.  We also learned to play Chess at the Fel. The Fel was there to serve the community with a focus on the youth.  There would be afterschool hours and evening hours, so we could double dip from 3-5pm and then as we got older from 7-9pm. 

We could mark our stages of childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood with a timeline of events at the Fel.  As wonderful as the place was, the people were even more special. There was Dennis the Director, and Frank Z. or Coach who had his hand in everything named Conshy, we had Jimmy and Maureen the star crossed lovers that would give you the shirt off their backs, Mrs. L. that ran the place behind the scenes. They would become our extended family that would love us, support us, and watch over us as we passed the years.

St. Matt's

Mom was insistent that we went to Catholic elementary and high school, even though we didn't have the money to attend.  Mom talked with Monsignor Simmons and volunteered at the Church to make sure we went.  St. Matt's was a few blocks from our house and we could walk to school in about 10 minutes. We met many friends there and it helped establish us in the community.  We of course gravitated to sports playing both CYO basketball and baseball.  

The wonderful Sisters of St. Joseph were our primary teachers but we also had an eclectic mix of lay teachers that shaped and molded us in our early years.  Sisters Consolata, Frances, Helen, and Louis would teach us from the 1st grade to the 8th grade.  Ms. Duffy, Ms. Gradwell, Ms. Price, and Mr. Igor were some of our influential lay teachers. The principal Sr. Pierre became a close friend of Mom's and was instrumental in helping the Kaufmann boys continue on the right path.

The sisters were great and has a special place in their hearts for Brian.  Brian always had a rebellious streak and like causing a little mischief now and then. Just like every other boy.  So after another run in with the good sisters, they decided that was enough.  They were going to recommend Brian go to Girard College for wayward boys. Mom marched right in there for a meeting told the Sisters that they seemed to picking on BK and that since he wasn't getting a fair shake and St. Matt's she was removing him from the school.  Quite a bold statement for an Irish Catholic girl raised strong in the faith!

Brian went on to the local public school and flourished. As Mom often reminded us take care of your Own!

We of course had a few run-ins with the good Sisters. 

Camp Rainbow


Camp Rainbow was our summer retreat, or better said Mom's summer respite.  Even though, the camp was just up the road in Jeffersonville off of Egypt road it could have been in the White Mountains of New Hampshire for all we knew.  Camp was a welcome break from the long boring summer days after the summer park season closed and every one headed on vacation to the Jersey beaches.  Our jersey beach vacation was an overnight in a Wildwood B&B, where two of us usually slept in the Volkswagon squareback.  We loved every minute of it from the big sandy beaches, to Mack's pizza, to Laura's fudge.  We would often do day trips where we would drive to the beach, spend all day on the beach, eat dinner, and then roundtrip it home in our sandy clothes and sun kissed bodies. Good times. 

Camp was another opportunity for the Kaufmann boys to shine.  The camp catered to lower income families and provided a means for the city kids to experience the country in an overnight setting complete with sleeping in log cabins on cots.  The camp was for boys only and you would check in on Sunday and leave on Saturday.  What a break for Mom to only have two of us in the house when two of us would be at camp.  If you won a first place trophy for a sport, or be nominated for Cabin Boy for good behavior you would automatically earn another week at camp.  Over the years, we would often wind up staying four weeks at camp.  We would play sports, learn to swim, do arts and crafts and just hang out with the other boys, and make new friends. 

We also learned to fend for ourselves.  We had to make our cots every morning, and had other chores around the camps that were assigned by cabin.  I remember there were 5 cabins for around 60 boys were there for the week.  We would eat 3 meals a day in the mess hall, and play ping pong, pool, and just have a fun time in the woods. 

Mr. Cornwalls would tell ghost stories on Friday night by the campfire about Cat Man who was half man half cat where we would sit enthralled and a little frightened. Afterward we enjoyed marshmallows by the fire before heading home on Saturday morning. 


Friends

The Fel would symbolize the rest of our experience in Conshy.  We were surrounded by friends and children our own age.  We had ready-made basketball teams, wiffle ball partners, baseball teams,  street hockey, and even a little ice hockey. We were lucky to have each other as we whiled away the days playing, growing, and living in our own little world.

Each of the brothers had best friends our own age and for me it was Michael  who lived a few houses down the block.  Mike was a second generation Irish kid who was tough as nails,  Mike was the third boy in an immigrant Irish Catholic family.  Mike was fun loving, energetic, and a little restless.  He was always looking to try new things.

Dennis was a few years older than us, a great athlete, and a good friend.  Even though he was older and cooler, he always looked out for the younger kids, always had an encouraging word.  We had many wiffle ball and basketball games together at Marywood park, and he was a joy to be around. Dennis was full of light, but I remember him asking if we had any wine in the house, as an 8th grader I really wasn't sure what he meant, but I went into the house and got a jar full of Mom's sangria.  That began one of the teenage journeys that we all make experimentation with drugs and alcohol.  Many of our Conshy friends succumbed to their weaker impulses, but we remember them with love and kind memories for they are our friends.


Our lives would revolve around going to Marywood park and playing with our friends whether is was box hockey, wiffle ball, horseshoes, or just climbing the monkey bars, we were out and about and having a good time.

We were blessed with a great group of friends as we shared our daily lives on the playgrounds, ball fields, streets, and alley ways of Conshohocken.  We were lucky to have each other and made our days filled with fun. 










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