Helen better known as Mom was just like any other young woman about to marry the love of her life and live happily ever after. And as the saying goes, God had other plans. Mom is a Fairmount girl from Philadelphia, PA. The child of Howard Keel and Helen Gallagher she is the 4th child of five in a family of two sisters Kitty the oldest and Judy the youngest, and her older brothers Frank and Joe. Dad was the second child of Frank and Loretta Kaufmann and has an older sister Frances and younger brothers Joe and Johnny.
She came from a working class family with Irish and German roots. She was the Princess of the family and and the favorite of Mom and Dad. She had dark black hair and striking blue eyes a resemblance to a young Elizabeth Taylor. She spent Summers at the Wildwood beach in NJ and went to the local catholic Hallahan all girls school where she developed her deep faith and love of the Blessed Mother Virgin Mary.
She fell in love with Tommy, a friend of her brothers who played basketball together in the little gym at the start of Boat House row on Kelly Drive in Fairmount Park. Kelly Drive is one of the most picturesque drives in Philadelphia as the road winds along the Schuykill River through Fairmount Park. The park is one of the largest urban parks in the country and Kelly Drive is named after Princess Grace Kelly's brother John B. Kelly Jr. who was a champion of the city and an Olympic rower.
Mom was a beautiful debutante and Tommy was a handsome athlete they fell in love were married in St. Francis' church and had wedding pictures in the park. Mom wanted the nice house with the white picket fence while Dad just wanted to be one of the guys. The children came quickly in quick succession with Tommy, Frankie, Brian, better known as Irish twins, and the baby Chris to follow four years later. The couple struggled financially bouncing around from apartments in Roxborough to a rental house in Chesnut Hill. Dad spent some time in the Army before being honorably discharged and landed a job as a package delivery driver for H&M in 1968.
The family was on the rise as Mom helped Dad secure a VA loan that helped them buy their first house in 1970 on East 5th Ave for $10,000 in Conshohocken. The home was a tidy 3br/1bth twin home with a small yard backing up to an alley that we shared with the neighbors. The blue collar Alan Wood steel working town was home of many churches, bars, and four Catholic school's St. Matthew's, St. Cosmas & Damien, St. Mary's, and St. Gertrude's in West Conshy. Conshohocken means Pleasant Valley in the native Lenape Indian tongue. The town is located about ten miles outside of Philadelphia and also rests on the Schuykill river.
Conshohocken was indeed our Pleasant Valley with a town of ten thousand kids, parks, fields, and most of all right up the street The Fellowship House of Conshohocken. The Fel was a community center founded by it's first Director Albert C. Donofrio. The Fel was a place were the town children gathered to play basketball, kickball, volleyball, ping pong, board games, fooseball, and even chess. The Fel was right up the block and we spent our childhood years with more time at the Fel than at home.
So as the Kaufmann family prospered including a new Volkswagon Squareback station wagon to go with the new house, things began to deteriorate with Mom and Dad's relationship. He always wanted to go back to be with his friends in Fairmount while Mom wanted to keep away from the bar scene. Mom wanted the finer things in life and Dad just wanted the simple life with friends and family in Fairmount. Dad most likely struggled with mental illness which resulted in his Honorable discharge from the Army after only six months.
The young growing family struggled financially as Dad left his job at H&M in 1972 where he had worked for four years and things started to deteriorate quickly. Dad would spend more time back home in Fairmount and Mom would grow frustrated and angry that she was home with four kids under the age of eight. Dad left and never returned in 1973 and I distinctly remember being the 9 years old. Frank would be 8, Brian 7, and Chris 3. That was a seminal moment in all of our lives. We were Fatherless. How do you leave four boys and your true love within a matter of nine years. Heck Dad has his own basketball team!
Children can bring great changes to any relationship and when you add in financial struggles, personality clashes, and ultimately one wanted to go in one direction while the other another, the relationship frays and the marriage ultimately ends. Mom would ultimately make things work but it was a challenge for all of us after Dad left. She is our rock and salvation her unwavering faith and commitment to God and the Blessed Virgin Mother would see her and her children survive the challenge. Mom became a Princess Warrior and would do anything to educate, feed, and discipline her children to ensure they became upstanding young men.
But the most important choice she made was to STAY!
Mom faced the challenges beat back the failure and disappointment. She begged and borrowed to ensure we had an excellent Catholic school education. She wanted us to be gentlemen and not hooligans she reminded us that we were Lace Curtain Irish not Shanty Irish which is a reference to wanting the best for her boys. She was determined to keep us on the right track and would scream, yell, and fight us to ensure we stayed on the right path. Like any family we had our ups and downs but we were resilient kids and raising four wiley boys as a single working mother would take an emotional toll on Mom.
She struggled with her own issues at times like everyone raising children, but she perserved and we all prospered. We were raised in the Faith and reflecting back on our time with Mom was that her unwavering faith and devotion was essential in helping her raise four loving boys that would go on to raise wonderful families of their own and all be good Fathers.
Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to walk away and the hardest choice is to stay. For all you Fathers out there make the right choice and stay it is the best decision you will ever make for when you children are grown you will be humbled with gratitude that with the Good Lord's blessing you raised your children and created your Masterpiece.
God Bless!
With Love,
Coach K
