My son is 16 and going for his driver's license. He has a book, has to have a certain amount of time on the road, maybe take a driving course. All for the awesome responsibility of operating a vehicle. Got to thinking of all the permissions we need to function in today's world. You need to be 18 to vote, 21 to consume, 18 to join the military, social security number for everything, approval to get a library card, 18 for tobacco, a certain age to get married, permits for this, permits for that. Give up an arm to get a loan. How we need permission to do anything today in society.
So Easy and Yet
And then it hit me. You don't need any approval or permission to become a parent. Wow! The simple act of nature and anyone can be thrust into parenthood into that tremendous responsibility and obligation without many of us even realizing the power of such a choice. To be responsible for someone else other than yourself and even to put their needs before your own is quite the sacrifice, we are so conditioned these days to think of me, myself, and I that when it comes to parenting we conveniently forget that there is a we, you, and us.
Becoming a Parent
How wonderful would it be to have a course, even mandatory, that all prospective parents including those that were not prospecting take a course that talks about love, nurturing, and caring for their children. That details the essentials of selflessness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. Provides some clues into teamwork, working together for the common good, and a common cause. How to treat each other with respect, dignity, and kindness. How to listen, show empathy, and teach.
We assume that we learn these qualities from our own family experience, or from our church, schools, or society as a whole but many times we come from broken homes and broken experiences that those lessons are missed, and the misguided parenting cycle has a chance to repeat.
A Better World
The best hope of creating better parents in our children is to be better parents ourselves. To be that excellent example of a loving mother, father, husband, and wife that the children can emulate when they become parents. Yes, there are times when a husband and wife go separate ways, but the role of parent is a lifetime commitment. Mom and Dad need to stay the course and get the job done. We need to put aside our selfish ways and finish the job of raising loving, responsible, productive children that are ready to go out live their dreams and share their talents with the world. The easiest and yet hardest thing to do sometimes is just to stay and raise your child. Just be there for them.
Saying Yes
And it all starts with us saying Yes son, daughter, I love you. I'll be here for you. And I'll be here no matter what. When life is good and when times are a challenge, when money is flowing and when it is tight, when things don't go as planned, when we agree and disagree, when I screw up, when you make a mistake. My love is unconditional. The saying goes that there is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. And so it is. The greatest feeling in the world for a child and for all us is to know that we are loved. So let the time be now that we commit to our children and every child that we will be the best parents we can be and to let them know that they are loved.
With Love,
Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com
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