LaLa

We finally made it back to Ocean City, NJ where we had vacationed for the past 25 years with our children and extended family. It had been two long years since the pandemic hit and for the first time in our lives together I had not visited the beach or ocean. Being a Cancer, a crab needs to find the Ocean!

We were enjoying a beautiful day on the front porch of our rental home just 200 yards from the beach. The September day was perfect sunny and 75 degrees with a warm breeze and a warm ocean.  September and October are the best time to visit the South Jersey beaches.  The crowds have thinned and a peaceful tranquility settles in replacing the buzz of the bustling summer boardwalk. 

As we were enjoying our coffee and reconnecting a beautiful butterfly fluttered into the little sidewalk garden in front of the porch.  We've gotten in the habit of say there goes Lala/Laura every time we see a butterfly so when she joined us on the porch we smiled and welcomed her. 

Our journey with Lala and LB had been one of sharing life's most wonderful moments.  From working together and bachelors, to getting married, to raising our families. 

The last two years have been hard on everyone but while the world was home in their Footie Pajamas I was fortunate to be going in everyday to work milking the cows. 

My best buddy who I've known longer that my wife of 36 years, and who we started our careers and worked together at the same company for 18 years.  We had instant chemistry and the same interests.  We both started making $12/hr right out of school, but it was a great company and great opportunity and we were going to make the most it! We both enjoyed investing, sports, cars, and we became fast friends. 

He became the fifth brother in the family.  And as our careers and lives grew together through the years, we remained close and intertwined in each others lives.  He would marry his long time sweetheart Laura, and I would marry LiLi and we would have and raise three beautiful children.  They attended our wedding, birthdays, BBQ's, sporting events, and family functions.  He was Uncle Lawrence and she was Aunt Laura.  

We were one big happy family.  We had progressed in our careers and had built wonderful lives together.  We had always been planners, investors, and working toward the day when we going to slow down and enjoy the finer things in life.  We had work long hard hours and were talking about the trips we wanted to take and the places we wanted to visit.  We were going to Italy, Monterrey, and Vancouver.  We were going to see the world and drink up every delicious drop that we had toiled so hard to earn over the last 30 years.  We were going to continue doing all the wonderful things in life that we had put off because of work, or family, or finances.  

We were going to LIVE!

We would always celebrate Christmas Eve together enjoying our traditional Seven Fishes dinner. Our house would be full of merriment, everyone having a rollicking good time, the wine flowed, the raw oysters, shrimp cocktail, fish salad, steamed clams, mussels, and then a quintessential pasta dish, Pescatore over linguine. 

Our Christmas Eve celebration was our main Family event every year. 

Lala would attend the 2016 Christmas celebration and Momo's high school graduation party in June 2017.  Lala and Lawrence never did have children but in some small way our three lovebirds became an extension of them.  She was loving, gentle, kind, generous, and patient just like a mother.  Our children loved her, and when she visited our home was instantly with a loving Grace, Dignity and Elegance. 

 Lala was first class all the way and I loved how when LB got out of line she would just say "Lawrence!" and he would straighten up and behave. A grown man just snapping to attention. Perfect! Lala always had that gravitas. She was filled with the Spirit.  An Angel among us. You knew she was special just meeting her. 

She spent her work time at major University Hospital and worked with Doctors and patients throughout her long distinguished career. She intimately knew the ins and outs of healthcare, patient doctor interactions, and the joys and challenges of dealing with everyday health issues. 

Lala was a very spiritual person and who would drag her husband to the two hour Sunday services, and had a very close relationship with God.  She graduated from a Catholic girls high school and learned early in her life to keep God close as she went on her life's journey. God was always first and foremost in her life. 

Lawrence called and said something is not right with Laura.  She was at work as usual and was sitting outside on a bench during lunch and just forgot who she was and where she was.  In an instant everything changed.  

We were all in shock to hear the news but hoped for the best.  After some stumbles, Laura was ultimately diagnosed with a brain tumor that proved to be cancerous.  Various therapies and medications were tried and even advanced Proton therapy at a leading national University hospital. She was courageous and strong, and after a struggle of several years she passed like a beautiful butterfly to eternal peace.  

Throughout the entire ordeal LB was with her every step of the way. As Laura cared, nurtured, and Loved LB.  They were soul mates perfect together.  And as they lived, worked, and loved through the years the next chapter of retirement was going to be better.  All the hard work paying off enabling a comfortable retirement to travel and enjoy the finer things. 

And then life happens.  All our dreams coming crashing down in an instant.  Life reminds us every day to seize the moment, live in the present, and every day is to be celebrated and even cherished. 

Those things we've been putting off that we've wanted to do, the time is Now! The special trip, the new career, the new activity, the classic car, that person you always wanted to meet.  Begin! Do it now.  Take the first step, show a little faith, and God will help you with the rest. 

For those of you strong in the faith and those of us that are still looking for the Light, be of good cheer.  God is good and out of every sorrow and setback is a ray of light, the seed of an equivalent benefit, a positive that can be found. We just may have to look long and hard for it, and be patient, trusting, and strong in our faith. 

Back to our vacation. We left Lala and the front porch and headed to the beach for a little rest and relaxation, a walk on the beach, and a little body surfing.  As we put our chairs down and settled in, we noticed a butterfly close by that was fluttering her wings on the beach but not able to lift off.  Her wings were damp and covered with a few grains of sand that must have been like been like dumbbells on her fragile wings. 

As beachgoers passed by they stopped to look at the butterfly and would comment on how beautiful she was, and how sad it was to see her struggle.  I scooped her off the wet sand by digging the sand below and placed her gently on a towel next to us careful not touch her in any way.  She stayed on the towel for the next few hours just resting.  When I reached down close to her she scooted up on my hand and stayed there using her feet to cling to me while gently fluttering.  She stayed on my hand for what seemed like an eternity but was perhaps twenty minutes.  She would go then rest on my shirt and when I placed the towel back in my lap she would return there. 

My wife and I and this butterfly had spent several hours together on the beach.  We of course commented that somehow Laura was communicating to us and just sharing our special time at the beach that we had waited for these past two long years. 

We have butterfly bushes in our backyard and they always grace us with their presence in the summer and fall.  One of my dreams was to have a buttterfly just land on me, even for a moment.  And now we were spending hours on the beach together even while she struggled to dry off. 

I did some quick research on butterflies and they typically live only a month. She was orange and black with a black polka dot body.  

A Monarch.  A little research shows the Monarch caterpillars eat exclusively milkweed that gives off a toxin to keep the birds and other predators away.  The orange and black distinctive coloring is a warning sign in nature to stay away. 

The Monarch is the Queen of the Butterflies. 

We enjoyed our day on the beach soaking in the warm sun, relaxing, making plans, and taking a good long soak in the salty gentle ocean waves.  And spending time with our new friend.  As she regained her strength, she fluttered off to the dunes behind us only 20 feet away landing in a grassy patch of sand where she would rest some more.  

And when we returned from our stroll on the beach she had passed quietly on the dunes. One of the earlier beach visitors had commented that a friend of her collected butterflies and placed them in jars to displace their beauty.  So we gently collected her and placed her in a jar in our family kitchen.  

So now every day that we gather together our Lala is right there with us joining in the celebration of Life.

Godspeed Lala.

With Love,

Coach K