Proactive Living

Many of us spend our days in reactive mode. Reacting to our friends, family, coworkers, bosses, the weather, even folks just passing us on our daily travels.  How often do we let the weather, or our energetic children, a grumpy spouse, or a angry traveler set us in a low energy mood.

I remember coming across an idea from my friend Wayne Dyer, stating that we should be like oranges.  An orange doesn't care when it is squeezed or how it is squeezed, you still get delicious orange juice.  Simply, the orange doesn't change based on the outside environment.  We humans on the other hand, when we are "squeezed" sometimes we get kindness, sometimes we get frustration, and sometimes we get anger.

I try to make it a point to not allow the outside environment influence my mood or change the person that I am.  Easier said than done I know. But just like anything else, we can get better we practice.  First, comes the awareness. Why would we let someone or something else have control over our state of mind or emotional well being.  I can choose to be happy, joyful, and loving.  If someone else is choosing another path or is having a low energy moment, that is fine but that has nothing do with us.  We, without judgement, continue enjoying our day.

The people that come into our lives whether it is our family or a person we meet in the store or on the road  are in a way teachers helping us learn the lessons we need to fully grow and mature.  When someone cuts us off on the road and signals us in a less than friendly way, even though they may be the person driving wildly, how do we react.  The driver is the one who is frustrated and angry over a person they don't even know. Certainly, a low energy mood that I want nothing to do with.  You'll never see that person again, and yet how do we react. Do we respond in kind gesturing and yelling at the person, matching their low energy, or do we just passively watch and think that person has other bigger issues than just being able to drive the car properly.

And our families really know how to push our buttons.  It is ironic how the ones closest to us, the ones we do the most for, and love the most can also hurt us the most.  We all know as parents how easy it is to holler at our children when after telling them for the 10th time to clean up their room the clothes are still sitting on the floor and the bed and those rascals just keep smiling at us. Of course, they are teaching us patience, patience, patience and we know how hard a lesson that is to learn.

I keep telling and reminding myself about unconditionally loving and understanding our little lovebirds but as we know it ain't always easy, but we can and will get better and we know another opportunity for teaching and learning is right around the corner.  Yes we can do it! Practice Practice Practice.

With Love,

Tom Kaufmann
Coach K
tkaufmanncoaching.com